Why does everything seems so complex?

Perhaps it is just me. Me and my constant thinking and imagination. Is beauty only skin deep? Whatever happened to inner beauty?

Reality revolves so much on the first impression that looking good becomes a priority. Yes, I admit to being superficial but who can say they are not? Isn't skin-deep beauty what we all look for?

I am sure that most girls spend lots of time dressing, buying cosmetics etc. The trend these days that guys are just as competitive in this arena. Buying clothes, stocking up on skin-care products, smelling good etc. But to whose advantage or benefit? Their own or to the on-lookers?

Yes, I admit to dressing up to my own vanity. But sometimes I ask myself, is it worth it? The answer (at that time) was yes. When you look good, you feel good and when you feel good, everything seems to go your way. Or so I thought. Then a spark came to mind; the people that you meet, are they nice to you just because of the way you look/dress?

I had my days of UGLY. The reason why I italize and bold UGLY is the second believe which is "there is no such thing as being ugly, just being lazy".

Sadly to the say, by the mysterious powers of love (I cannot believe I said that...) I change from a soft-spoken to a talk-so-much-rubbish-until-someone-have-to-ask-me-to-SHUT-UP person. And after much melodrama, I change from someone who have no sense of dressing to someone with better-but-not-the-best-sense of dressing.

Honestly, when I look back, I think I change a lot. Okay, so it is not a lot but TOO MUCH. So much so to a point that I saw one of my ex-school mate but he didn't recognise me. Perhaps it was the dim lights of the night, the excuse I gave. Then recently another ex-school mate recognise me because he heard my name. Was I such a nobody back then?

Are looks really that important in a relationship? If they are, why? If they aren't then how does one know when the person is in love with another not because of looks ONLY but perhaps the un-describable feeling called love?

I guess, looks is just part of the whole package. Perhaps, it was just not meant to be. I shall stop pondering, end here and just be where I should be; the comfort zone of my dream cloud =)