5 mins Management Course

Lesson 1:

A man is getting into the shower just as his wife is finishing up her shower, when the doorbell rings.
The wife quickly wraps herself in a towel and runs downstairs.
When she opens the door, there stands Bob, the next-door neighbour.
Before she says a word, Bob says, 'I'll give you $800 to drop that towel.'

After thinking for a moment, the woman drops her towel and stands naked in front of Bob, after a few seconds, Bob hands her $800 and leaves.
The woman wraps back up in the towel and goes back upstairs.
When she gets to the bathroom, her husband asks, 'Who was that?'
'It was Bob the next door neighbour,' she replies.
'Great,' the husband says, 'did he say anything about the $800 he owes me?'

Moral of the story:
If you share critical information pertaining to credit and risk with your shareholders in time, you may be in a position to prevent avoidable exposure.

Lesson 2:

A priest offered a Nun a lift.
She got in and crossed her legs, forcing her gown to reveal a leg. The priest nearly had an accident.
After controlling the car, he stealthily slid his hand up her leg.
The nun said, 'Father, remember Psalm 129?'
The priest removed his hand. But, changing gears, he let his hand slide up her leg again.
The nun once again said, 'Father, remember Psalm 129?'
The priest apologized 'Sorry sister but the flesh is weak.'
Arriving at the convent, the nun sighed heavily and went on her way.
On his arrival at the church, the priest rushed to look up Psalm 129. It said, 'Go forth and seek, further up, you will find glory.'

Moral of the story:
If you are not well informed in your job, you might miss a great opportunity.

Lesson 3:

A sales rep, an administration clerk, and the manager are walking to lunch when they find an antique oil lamp.

They rub it and a Genie comes out.
The Genie says, 'I'll give each of you just one wish.'
'Me first! Me first!' says the admin clerk. 'I want to be in the Bahamas, driving a speedboat, without a care in the world.'
Puff! She's gone.

'Me next! Me next!' says the sales rep. 'I want to be in Hawaii , relaxing on the beach with my personal masseuse, an endless supply of Pina Coladas and the love of my life.'

Puff! He's gone.

'OK, you're up,' the Genie says to the manager.
The manager says, 'I want those two back in the office after lunch.'

Moral of the story:
Always let your boss have the first say.

Lesson 4

An eagle was sitting on a tree resting, doing nothing.
A small rabbit saw the eagle and asked him, 'Can I also sit like you and do nothing?'
The eagle answered: 'Sure, why not.'
So, the rabbit sat on the ground below the eagle and rested. All of a sudden, a fox appeared, jumped on the rabbit and ate it.

Moral of the story:
To be sitting and doing nothing, you must be sitting very, very high up.

Lesson 5

A turkey was chatting with a bull.

'I would love to be able to get to the top of that tree' sighed the turkey, 'but I haven't got the energy.'
'Well, why don't you nibble on some of my droppings?' replied the bull. They're packed with nutrients.'

The turkey pecked at a lump of dung, and found it actually gave him enough str ength to reach the lowest branch of the tree.

The next day, after eating some more dung, he reached the second branch.

Finally after a fourth night, the turkey was proudly perched at the top of the tree.

He was promptly spotted by a farmer, who shot him out of the tree.

Moral of the story:
Bull Shit might get you to the top, but it won't keep you there..

Lesson 6

A little bird was flying south for the winter. It was so cold the bird froze and fell to the ground into a large field.
While he was lying there, a cow came by and dropped some dung on him.
As the frozen bird lay there in the pile of cow dung, he began to realize how warm he was.
The dung was actually thawing him out!
He lay there all warm and happy, and soon began to sing for joy.
A passing cat heard the bird singing and came to investigate.

Following the sound, the cat discovered the bird under the pile of cow dung, and promptly dug him out and ate him.

Morals of the story:
(1) Not everyone who shits on you is your enemy.

(2) Not everyone who gets you out of shit is your
friend.

(3) And when you're in deep shit, it's best to keep
your mouth shut!


Credits: Thanks Lay Leng for the email =)))

Happy 19th =)!

As promised, this post is about my 19th birthday. This year's birthday felt really different. I just can't tell. Anyway, wanna thank the gorgeous assistant manager of JP, Gypsy. And the always-looking-young Yi Ling. I tell you, she has two children but she and her hubby look like they just started dating =X.

Both of them are so nice. On the 6th Oct, I was working. They brought me to HK cafe (Hiun-ng Kong Cha Chan Teng) and bought the Mango Mousse cake from JP. At first I was still wondering why she took a cake home. But half way walking there, I realised they were planning to celebrate my birthday. THANKS =)))

me and yi ling. doesn't she look young?

me and gypsy. very gorgeous right?!

I took a cab back with Gypsy and her ANG MO bf (who happens to smoke 'Winston Ciggys' =p). I was walking home to the lift when suddenly...

ALLESTER and KRIS shouted, "HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!". My God! I screamed and ran into the lift la. It was about 12 going to 1 in the morning and out of no where, two person's jumped out literally holding a birthday cake. I was really surprised. Thanks so much =))). Really appreciated it la you guys. *muacksss*

And look at the nonsense b'day card 'ter got me. LOL!

thanks Kris:)

ain't the bear cute? =p

On the day itself, I went to AH for my FYP stuff. Then with 'ter, Kris and Alicia, we went out to vivocity and then chill at 1TwentySix where danny and Shirley TXY suprised me by turning up! Got really drunk that night/morn but I really enjoyed it. woo, before I forget, Agnes and Elaine. *muacks* la you two. Always perking me with nonsense antics (i.e. ORHH...la!) haha. Thanks everyone =) for making my 19th birthday so memorable.

Traveling woes...

A long struggle between Uniform-don students (JCs & ITE) VS. Non-uniform-don students (Polytechnics) regarding transportation fares:
Why do people who choose the Polytechnic route pay MORE $$$ (for transportation) as compared to their peers who enter the JCs and ITE?

Personally, I have always resented the fact that we (as Poly students) have to pay more. Especially more so when BS* reasons like 'able to find job' and 'Tertiary student' come out from peoples' mouth. Aren't JCs students considered Tertiary students? Do we get a higher pay as compared with our JC counterparts (who have been to the U)?

This is not a personal attack at my peers who chose the JC or ITE path. There is NOTHING personal. It is a matter of 'why do we have to pay nearly DOUBLE of the usual student fares'?

For Polytechnic students who disagree with the current situation, please sign this online petition in hopes of a better situation for current and future students. (click on 'this')

24/7

24/7. 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. My schedule has been packed back to back leaving me hardly any time to eat, drink, sleep and breath. I seriously need a proper vacation. Decided not to go to the hospital today just so I can get some stuff done. Anyway, a happy belated 19th birthday to myself. Thanks to ALL the fantastic people who wish me (too many, will put your names in my next posts with pictures of what happen). A happy belated birthday to KHIM BOON. It seems we haven't been hanging out often. Anyway, This post is a notice that I might be MIA for a while. I may have died and if I do, I invite everyone to my funeral =). But, I don't think I will die so easily right.

RSVP!

CALLING ALL BDS-ians! You might have gotten the invite (via Facebook) that there is Alumni Welcome Party on the 18th October. Not sure if I should attend. Anyway, dear BDS friends, if you are going, please inform me =).