The power of depression

Actually, I was kinda pissed early this morn. You see, I already planned what I wanted to wear to school - t with jacket and jeans and only bringing my file.
I know that Singapore is really hot, however, the air-conditioner in the shuttle bus is really strong. So I was thinking if I come out of my house just nice to take a bus to the interchange and go to the bus stop exactly at 8.35am(the time of arrival of the shuttle bus, supposedly) I will be able to survive wearing a jacket in Singapore's climate.
I reached the shuttle bus stop at 8.34am. no bus was insight. I waited for another two minutes I really could not take the heat so I took off my jacket. I was perspiring like crap. Why? Cause the bus stop so happens to be situated in between buildings and the morning sun is shining there. That's not the point. I waited another 3 minutes before the bloody uncle arrive.
thank god the air-condition was strong or I would have been extremely pissed.
anyway, this uncle is so irresponsible. There were two times where he didn't arrive. Thus, those who took the 8.35 bus had to wait and squeeze with those who were taking the 8.45 bus.
so after I reached school, my friends and I made our way to the LT for our lecture.
we went to the 3rd floor thinking the doors always open there first. That is sooo not true. There is some personal vendetta of lecturers against AFSN students. Our LT is usually the last to open. Why is that so? Up till now, I still cannot figure out why.
sighs. It was such a bad day for me. So I decided to blog. blogging is the only thing that keeps me my sanity from disappearing. (note: I am trying a different approach to posting)
I never really understand my surroundings. Always thinking and thinking.
however, occasionally, I stop. And I ask myself. Who am I? What am I?
questions, questions and more questions. questions are made, but where are the answers?
sometimes, the mind is such a complex complicated processor that no other artificial intelligence can ever replace it. Sighs. A rush of depression fills my soul. And suddenly, it escapes from my body as my goosebumps stand.
am I that selfish to always think about myself and not others before me. Have I become one of those people who never stops to consider other feelings but mine only? Maybe and maybe not. I realized that not only had society judged me, but myself too. I have place to many judgment upon myself.
my brain is constantly in a turmoil of thoughts. From the extremes of the spectrum like what should I eat today to the other extreme like what if I am not employed. Mixed feelings as I grow up in this society.
society. The mere mention causes me to think even harder. Has it ever been fair to me? Or was it just the lack of parental guidance that cause me to be what I am today.
deception and lies. How do I know the truth from the naught. In any case, I don't.
politics. I just hate it when it comes to this. I never wanna mess with politics. It gives me a migraine. I just wanna live my life. The only thing I truly yearn from politics is to give the citizens what they deserve and true help serve the country and thus earning the respect of the fellow citizens. Bribery gets you no where. However, not true in this country.
well, isn't that quite a lot of thoughts in a short while? The on going process that keeps me thinking.
oh ya, I would love to add
religion - Christianity. I respect all religions. However, everything happens for a reason. If you are able to convince someone that our Lord and savior is Jesus then so be it. However, if someone do not believe in it, then so be it. Do not try to further 'educate' the person. One day he might understand. As for me, I do understand this faith but, it needs time. Right now, I just need to get my life straight. Understanding about life is one complicated matter.
maybe, we don't need to understand about life. We just have to have faith in what we do just like having the faith in any religion. Anyway, is about high time I go to sleep. Will be back soon.